I have been in and out of relationships since I was 15 years old. Whether they lasted a year, a few months, or a few weeks, I have experienced all different kinds of relationships. I had one serious boyfriend, but that didn’t work out. Then I was with guys for a few months at a time and now I’ve realized that I don’t know the difference between lust and love. How I feel is different than what makes sense logically. My head and my heart can never seem to come to an agreement. When I ask married women how they knew their husbands were the one, they all come up with the same answer, “You’ll just know, you’ll feel it.” Well thank you for that answer, however it doesn’t do me any good. What does that mean? I find myself thinking about my feelings and my thoughts on love constantly. It consumes 95% of my thoughts and about 50% of my time. It’s something that people have constantly wrote about, talked about, and dreamed about so why is it that no one has the same answer let alone the correct answer? It’s something that people will continue to try to figure out and I just hope that in this lifetime I will experience it and hold on to it forever. I will continue to jump from relationship to relationship trying to figure out what it all means and if anyone has the slightest idea what Love is, True love, if there is such a thing please inform me.
Admit it, you do it. You do it; I do it; He does it; She does it; We all do it. You may be even doing it right now. I am. I’m procrastinating. Instead of writing my History of Modern Design paper that needs to be handed it by 11:00 am tomorrow, I’m checking Facebook, g-chatting, doing dishes, making my bed, picking off my already chipped nail polish. In fact, I’ll find ANYTHING to do instead of writing this paper. Hell, I’m even writing a blog. Sure, my ADHD could play a part in why I simply cannot bring myself to do what I eventually must, but not everyone has this disease, and they still suffer the symptons. Why can’t I just write the damn thing and get it over with? I have class from 6-9 and then a Phi Mu event at 10 tonight, which means I’m going to have to write it after wards. OKAY. 11:00 tonight I’ll sit down and write it? WRONG. Nip/Tuck premiere. So after that? Prolly not. More than likely I’ll be awake at 3:00 am google imaging pictures of historical American art and describing its utility and beauty while trying to keep myself from nodding off. A much better idea if you ask me. All college kids do it. We keep pushing back what we need to do in order to participate in more thrilling activities like napping or watching on demand episodes of the TV shows we’ve missed during the week. Then when midterms or paper due dates roll around, we bitch and moan about how much we hate our lives, or how we’re so busy. But we bring it on ourselves. We have completely skewed priorities. But are we going to change anything? Absolutely not. Because that’s how its been done forever. And we are much more a pleasure kinda people. We do what we want when we want. All the other stuff we cram in just because we have too. And I know this. You probably do, too. And so does he and she and we.
Sometimes you just need to share:
“Do you find dead baby jokes funny?” “Not as funny as dead puppy ones.”
Just another day in the life.
